On Mystery, Passion & Purpose, and the Infinite Value of Appreciation
“The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious.”
~ Albert Einstein
Dear Friends,
I recently learned that the most common literary genre in the world is the detective story. And it does seem as though the stories that really intrigue us, that hook us, have at their core a mystery that needs solving. It's like our brains are wired to love a puzzle -- whether in a book, a movie, or a relationship -- and the challenge it represents.
But even though we love the not-knowing that's at the root of any mystery, we also crave certainty. In our relationship life, these two facets of our character are often at odds. I like the certainty I feel that my partner is who I think he is. The good-natured, kind, intelligent and open-hearted person that I fell in love with. But I also cherish the times when I let go into beginner's mind where I know that I don't know. It's when I stop holding him hostage to my perception/projection of him, and get genuinely curious. And then, once again, I find myself fascinated by the "stranger" in the room who has his unique history, personality, passions, and philosophies . . . who has a "beautiful, mysterious" soul journey that I can bear witness to but that is entirely his own.
On some level, we're always participating in either a cycle of negativity or of loving reciprocity between us and "them." And what we participate, we perpetuate. I like to imagine a world where -- more and more -- we see beyond our old faded snapshots of who we think people are, and look instead with soft eyes and new vision at all our fellow humans.
*****
Last month I unexpectedly got to spend five days in a hospital (I'm absolutely fine, by the way), so I want to close with words of appreciation for those who work there. No one ever wants to go to the hospital (whether as a patient or a visitor) and when we are there, we're so preoccupied with pain or worry or both, that it's hard to take in what all these people are doing to help us heal. There are those who sign you in and run the machines and push the gurneys (one guy told me he racks up almost fifteen miles a day doing his job) and those who bring even more warm blankets and tuck them in. There are those who answer the incessantly ringing call-buttons and bring the meds and take your blood and vital signs and those who help you to the bathroom and walk you through the halls when the doctors tell you to get mobile. There are those that make the food and those that bring the food . . . and the cleaners. Because a clean environment is a healing one.
The night nurse and the day nurse who took care of me work twelve-hour shifts four days in a row and they seemed to always be on their feet. And they were consistently and genuinely kind, caring and patient with everyone. When I said goodbye and expressed my gratitude to each of them, I teared up! They both looked so surprised . . . like maybe they don't hear or feel appreciated very often for what they do. Such small words, really, "thank you." But they can mean so much.
With love, Elizabeth
"I invite you to pause and look a little deeper.
Because underneath all the noise, all the stress, all the striving … there’s a quiet strength already inside you. The part of you that keeps showing up. That wants to know what’s true. That wants to help. That wants to grow—even when it’s hard."
~ Dr. Rick Hanson